“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart”
My emotions pour out in smiles… its like an entire different center of gravity.
A misguided text fully anticipated with leading me to another heartbreak happened to place me on this path. It’s hard for me to write because it almost feels as if I’m lying to myself but I promise, it’s the godforsaken truth. I am happy.
I’m not going to lie… that fact terrifies me more than anything. Over the past year I’ve placed myself into an almost constant pattern… expecting the worst and never letting my heart get involved. But I can’t seem to help it. With him, I forget to worry. And more than everything, I am getting used to this… this hopefulness.
I’m letting go of protections that I’ve clung to and I’m lowering the walls that I have ever so perfected over the years. I don’t know what it is about him that lets me trust him. That lets me let him see me, for who I really am. I’m taking risks just letting myself write something like this.
But it’s the calming effect… the second his hand touches mine. I can’t ignore the butterflies shooting up from my stomach causing me to catch my breath just to return his smile. And I ask myself if this is real… because I’ve never felt this way.
It’s the constant excitement… never knowing what is going to happen next. But as I’ve learned it’s also about trusting, trusting that whatever happens won’t hurt.
I found that it is much more difficult to pour your heart out… knowing that he will read it and see straight through you, it’s hard to let yourself become vulnerable.
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